behind these blue/green eyes

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 00:00:03 GMT

new journal
_x3pumpkin comment to be added

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 21:39:57 GMT

humm ;; i haven't updated in forever & one half day, shit, i don't even know where to start...

- well as of right now, i dunno how things are going right now.. but i love my friends.. they make me laugh & make me feel better - lol.. but as of me & him [[ most ppl know who "him" is ]] i really dunno about us now, we've both changed so much ; & it makes me sad, cause nearly a year ago we were so in love & we grew in love & learned each other so well ;; i know him better than most, i know what pisses him off .. makes him sad ; happy.. i know him very well, maybe we juss can't be together anymore, & i'm accepting that very well ; our love juss isn't as strong as it used to be, & i'm juss tired of a lot of "problems" in our relationship.. & i juss piss him off to much, & i know i do this, & i really don't even try.. i juss have my ways of pissing him off, which he knows how to piss me off too, i juss don't let it get to me as much as he lets it get to him.. i really dunno whats going on.. but i actually told him how i really feel about somethings.. EVERYONE .. even his friends.. tell me how he treats me like shit & i juss let him run over me & use him & how i deseve so much better.. & actually i don't realize that.. i don't see it.. but everyone else sees it.. maybe i'm juss so use to it i don't even notice???? , & i guess the other nite i did make a scene & took things a lidl to far, but i had every reason to.. he says i'm pushy.. i kinda don't understand that.. i'm with him how i've always been, & he says i try to show him off. why the hell would i do that, we've been together so long, why would i have to show him off i really don't understand... but i'm tryin' to make this work, cause i love him ... & care more than most, & he knows that & he'd be loosing a lot.. if he lost me for good... but i dunno, i'm not sure what i want.. but i'm not pushin' him anymore..... i'm juss gonna wait & see what happens... i worry about him too much & i know this, its juss because i care so much;; & i can't say anything mean to him.. cause i've always been afraid of hurting his feelings.. but he isn't afraid to hurt mine , so why the hell should i be concerned about fuckin' his.. i dunno.... i'm juss not as worried about it as i used to be.....i don't cry like i used to..... sometimes i wonder why we even bother with it?... i guess i juss love him too much to let him go.... nathaniel told me i'm the only one thats ever mattered...i dunno? i used to matter...

& i don't want pity for this.. its my own problem <3

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 23:45:56 GMT

Gahh - here we go again... i love him.. everyone knows i do.. i juss don't understand?! i want to be with him.. & he wants to be with me.. why can't we juss forget about it all & start over again.. thats all i want.. i can't live my life without him in it.. not tryin' to sound dependent of him or anything.. but i do need him.. i love him.. with ALL of my heart .. everyone knows i do & he knows i do... & i don't want to be with anyone else.. i can't imagine me with someone else.. & i can't imagine me without him.. i want him.. & i love him.. & i don't care who knows. yah know.. we're supposed to be together i know we are.. we've both messed up sometime or another.. & we've hurt each other.. but we can always try to fix it.. i don't love anyone else.... i juss wish he'd believe me how much i care.. i know we agrue.. but that doesn't change my feelin's for him.. they're still the same.. & if i've put my heart & soul into anything in my life .. its always been him.. i love him.. & i know we're supposed to be together.. i care about him.. & i care about his feelings.. we can make it work.. we juss both have to try.. we both have to try to make things work.. but i do not want anyone else.. nor am i talkin' to anyone else.. cause i don't want to be.. & i am waitin'.. i'll always be waitin'... i know i will... i love him.. & i want to make this better..& it makes me cry to think about how much i care for him.... & how i want us to be together.. he makes me sooo happy.. & he knows it.. & i know i make him happy.. i juss don't understand.. i love him with all my heart & i know i always will.... i juss wish we could be together & for things to stay that way.. i know we can make it.. i know we can

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 17:05:28 GMT

http://photobucket.com/albums/v347/dufas_07/

that's mine & tiff's photobucket ; look if yah want to * juss ask for password

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 20:12:07 GMT

Girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong ?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game,
parents flipped out on me for no reason,
and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games,
you know ill take care of you when your sick,
what your parents flip about ?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye

2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...she goes.....

her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitting a tree instead

her friend was killed instantly....shes in critical condition

This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend

Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong ?
Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes

He shows up to the hospital room ...standing outside the door
going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he
heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump

Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...

it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in lipstick

he opened it.....

it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i am
and everything i have...i want to spend the rest of my life with you

sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they went to

and the first picture they took together

he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture

it looked as if in the picture she was crying

then the machines flatlined....3 minutes later she was pronounced dead

If you have any heart...any soul...or want to be happy you will repost this.
if you care for someone ...do not let something like this ever happen

Post this in the next 200 seconds and you WILL have THE best

day of your life THIS SATURDAY. You're number one *love* Will

either kiss you, ask you out, or call you or better. If

you break this chain you will have a lousy day on Saturday, and

you know you can

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 00:08:08 GMT

You are Lo!

Which Laguna Beach Cast Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

YAY lo's my favorite ..she reminds me of me lol *

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 02:23:20 GMT

Hum, everything's better now .. lol *
Yesterday - I met tasha & we went to the Norton Pool, haha - we had fun, but there were like a lot of bugs in the pool & that really made me sick, lol..anyways...pretty boys were there =) hehe - we stayed from 3 till 5:30[cause thats when the pool closed]lol...and tasha pushed me in the water, lol - it was hilaroius & we made fun of the lifeguards..HAHA....it was juss funny, okay?, lol- then tasha came home with me & we got on the computer & stuff & we walked to the end of the road & nick's dad went by - he gave me a weird look & laughed & waved at me, lol & tasha layed in the road, lol & i told her a coal truck was comin'..haha.. & we had a spittin' contest..sick huh? ..but it was funny....then i took her home at like 9:30 & then i dyed my mommy's hair - it looks beautiful *

TODAY- i went & got my hair cut, then i went to tiff's & we took pics of us, lol..it was fun & OMG -- i straightened tiff's hair & it took me like 40 minutes & we put straight serum on it & it made it curly again UGH i could have screamed, lol..but she has those pics on her lj...& i left there about 9..now i'm settin' here waitin' for someone to get online, lol..

love ya'll & MIKE JONES *

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 17:49:48 GMT

okay -- i said somethings that i regret to someone & i try & try to say i'm sorry but it doesn't work ..but i know from the bottom of my heart i didn't mean to hurt this person...i just said it for my own pleasure to make myself feel better ...i mean everyone's said something that they didn't mean..that was very harsh, ya know... & yes i admit it was very harsh & i regret sayin' it...i know i hurt this person..but they have hurt me many times, in a way i guess i just wanted to get revenge on them b/c of the situation & that was very immature of me & yes i'd probably feel really bad if someone said it to me...but i guess you just have to give things time & i hate that..i hate giving things time ..b/c i'm very impatient, i hate to wait....i just like to settle things instead of just lettin' them go..but i guess this time i just have to let it go..which it one things i've never done in my life, i've never just let something go & actually i've never been hurt before but i know i've hurt a lot of people, i guess its because i'm so used to havin' my way with everything & i'm used to gettin' by everyone...i need to stop wanting everything my way b/c i know its not always going to be that way..like now...in a way i need to grow up a lidl more, i always thought of myself as being mature but i was only selfish....* maybe things will never be the same *

& for some reason i feel as if i'm loosing everyone now, cause every since that lild incident ... b/c "that persons's" friends were my friends too & now i feel like they don't want to be my friend anymore & i know i'm a very jealous person & when i get mad at someone i expect all my friends to be mad at them too, but i guess i try to control people too much, i know i do this, it's juss one of my flaws..& i let my pride get the best of me * i'm not sayin' that i'm depressed or anything, i'm just not happy with myself right now...& i've developed a lid'l habit that i can't stop-- don't worry its nothing too bad *

please comment people
love yuns<3

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 23:07:16 GMT

Well i juss finished watching the last episode of Laguna Beach....& i started thinking about what i'm going to do after high school & where i'm going to be & wondering if i'm still going to be friends with my best friends & how i'm going to miss everyone..then i started thinking about how over-rated high school is & juss basically your teenage years & all the boyfriends & girlfriends & so called "relationships" all of that isn't going to mean anything in 10-20 years from now..& then i started to cry because your so close to these people because you've spent 13 years with them ya know.. & then after you graduate you juss leave & you might not ever see them again..& i thought about all the close relationships that i've had with people & then something bad happens & your friends or even close to that person...ever after you've spent so much time together & made so many happy memories you can juss go on without them....i know i've done this but once i think about it i don't see how its possible to juss forget about someone//people that you've loved so much...i'm going to try to make the best of the rest of my high school years & try not to do anything i will regret ... *

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:53:17 GMT

I stole this from Amber Brooke Lane

x Full Name: Brittany Nicole Taylor
x Birthday: January 4 1989
x Zodiac: capricorn
x What time is it?: 6:22 p.m.
x What is the date?: July 10, 2005
x Other Names Your Parents Considered: Cole--i think?, lol
--------------------Standard Stuff----------------------------
x School: PHS
x Eyes: blue/green
x Hair: curly blonde with a lidl brown lowlights
x Height: 5'0"
x Shoe Size: 7
x Who lives with you? Mom & Dad
x When is your bedtime? anytime.
--------------------In the Last 24 Hours-----------------------
x Cried: yeah
x Worn jeans: yea.
x Met someone new: dont think so.
x Done laundry: I can't do laundry, but i folded towells
x Cursed: Yeah
x Watched a Movie: "Eurotrip" & "Dead End" with Molly
x Went to the movies: No
x Went shopping: Yep, yesterday
x Gotten sick: No
x Been kissed: sadly , no =(
x Given a kiss: Nope
x Lied: umm i don't think so? hehe
----------------------Have You Ever-------------------------
x Missed school cause of weather: Yeah
x Lit yourself on fire: haha, i don't think so..
x Kept a secret from everybody: Yes
x Had an imaginary friend: nope
x Ever been in love w/ a friend: yea
x Cried during a Movie? heck yea. hasn't everyone?
x Had crush on an teacher? haha, nope
x Been on stage: Yes
x Cut your own hair: Yep
x Done drugs: No
x Seen a murder: No
x Seen a naked man in the flesh: uhh haha, maybe..
x Seen a naked woman in the flesh: sure.
x Wanted to have sex: sure have.
------------------------Your Firsts------------------------------
x First best friend: Molly Shortt
x First real date: well actually Nicholas
x First real break-up: that meant anything Nicholas
x First self purchased album: Hanson, lol
x First piercing/tattoo: When i was a baby. .
x First enemy: uhm, i dont even remember.
x First big trip: Virginia Beach, i was 6
x First Kiss: humm..that meant anything Nicholas, lol
x First failing grade: Never had one =) tehehe ..
----------------------In the Last Week -------------------
x Been mean: Maybe.
x Been sarcastic: haha, yea.
x Talked to someone you have a crush on: umm maybe
x Hugged someone: Yes
x Fought with your parents: kinda
x Got in an argument with your best friend: Dont think so.
x Laughed until you cried: yeah, Molly cracks me up
x Played Truth or Dare: Nope
x Watched a sunrise/sunset: Nope
x Went to the beach at night: i wish.
-------------------Who Did this Last-----------------
x Called you: Tasha
x Slept in your bed: 'twas i.
x Saw you cry: umm i dunno...probably nicholas
x Made you cry: Nicholas
x Made you laugh: Molly
x You shared a drink with: Molly
x You went to the movies with: Justin..umm..it was kinda bad, i felt akward
x Went to dinner with: Molly
x Bought you something: Molly, my dinner, lol
x Sent you an email: umm no one.
-------------------------- Extras -----------------------------
x Black or white?: white
x TV or movie?: both
x Cat or dog?: aww, kitty's i love kitty's
x Walmart or target?: umm both
x Spring or Fall?: i like both
x Sun or rain?: haha, i like both too
x What are you gonna do after this?: probably call & see how tiff is
x What was the last meal you ate?: taco
x High school or college?: High School
x Are you bored?: very
x Last TV show you watched?: Date My Mom.
x Last movie you saw in theaters?: The Sister Hood of the Traveling Pants
x Last noise you heard?: T.V.
x Last smell you smelled?: my lotion
------------------------Favorites----------------------------
x Shampoo: panteen(sp?)
x Favorite color: Pink & Teal Blue
x Summer/Winter/Fall/Spring: Summer
x Favorite Cartoon Character: Spongebob
x Favorite Fast Food: umm ..probably McDonalds
x Favorite Movies: Sweet Home Alabama My Girl, How to Deal & The Notebook[[even tho it makes me cry]]
x Favorite sport: i really don't like sports but softball?
---------------------What are You?-------------------------
x Wearing: My hollister jeans & a florial strapless shirt
x Thinking about: shew, him*
x Listening to: Taking Back Sunday -- A decade under the influence
------------------------Have You Ever -----------------------
x Been to Canada?: Nope
x Danced Naked?: humm, maybe, lol
x Skinny dipped?: want to
x Stalked someone?: uhh, no?
x Snuck out?: haha, juss once
x Wished you were the opposite sex?: um no? ..
------------------------ Random ----------------------------
x Are you bored?: Very.
x Are you lonely?: Yes =(
x Are you happy?: nope..
x Do you drink?: me & tiffany stole one of my brothers beers on the 4th, lol
x Who named you?: My mom i guess
x When was the last time you showered?: this morning
x What color pants do you have on right now?: light blue jeans
x What song are you listening to right now?: Taking Back Sunday, lol
x What color is your shirt?: pink & green
x What is right next to you?: my guitar.lol
x What is your computer desk made of?: Wood
x What are the last 4 digits in your phone number?: 7236
x Are you eating anything?: nope
x What did you do last night?: me & molly went out
x How are you today?: okay i guess
------------------------- Extras ----------------------------
x What book are you reading now?: Not.
x Nickname: juss britt...lol
x Pets: none
x Siblings: Tammy & Shannon
x Have you ever been so drunk you didn't remember that you were drunk: haha, nooooo. =\
x Taken any illegal substances: Yeah
x Gone out in public in your pajamas(where): nope sure haven't.
x Played ding-dong-ditch?: No, but i wanted to once. lol
x Wanted to hook up with a friend/date them: yea.
x Did something illegal?: Yeahhhh ..
x Did you get caught?: uhm, i dont think so?
x Gotten arrested?: Never =)
x Gotten a ticket for something?: Nope.
x Prank called someone: Yes
---------------------Do You Believe In----------------------
x Yourself: ahh... sometimes..
x Santa Claus: ahh maybe, lol
x Tooth Fairy: Never.
x Destiny/Fate: yes
x Angels: Yes
x God: Yes
x Bigfoot: wtf? haha no
--------------------Friends and Life------------------------
x Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: i did..lol
x Do you like anyone?: not really
x What's the best feeling in the world: Love.
x Worst Feeling: heart break.
x Worst fear: losing him & Death.
x Time now: 6:40
------------------------Lasts-------------------------------
x Last car ride: back from sissy's
x Last good cry: hmm, this morning
x Last library book checked out: T0 Kill A Mockingbird
x Last beverage drank: Tea
x Last shoes worn: my polkadot flip flops
x Last thing bought: umm, my hair dye..lol [[ juss for my roots]]
x Last annoyance: umm i can't have what i want so bad*
x Last disappointment: i disappoint myself
x Last time scolded: umm idk?
x Last shirt worn: before this one? umm My Pound Wildcats Shirt
x Last website visited: my lj, lol

Well, I spend the nite with M0lly Friday nite...i meet her at the little red caboose & we went & watched stevie's play..it was sweet, lol..*
Then we went to the Park & ate some chips & stuff, lol..then we went & rented some movies then we wentback to her house & she dyed my roots...i love 'em....and we took some pics & stuff
omg we rented "dead end" ahh-- it the scariest movie i have ever seen in my whole life..i aint even jokin, lol...then we watched ..then we watched Eurotrip..we finally feel asleep at like 4...
then Saturday we went out to Fishtales and ate & walmart & a bunch of stores in that shopping center & we went to FoodCity & made fun of justin, lol...& i seen nicholas's mamaw & papaw..aww, i love them both they're so sweet...his mamaw was tellin' me how she thinks me & nicholas are soul mates, lol.i was like i dunno i kinda wish..& his papaw told me to come down and swim anytime i want to...lol..& his mamaw gave me the biggest hug & kissed me, lol..she's so sweet...but i still might go there & swim juss to visit his mamaw, lol....& omg these guys asked me & molly to go to some party , lol..we were like we have other plans..& one guy goes bull crap it was hilarious, lol....& molly got the shins cd..i like that band now, lol...but we had fun..& molly left for PN. today & she'll be back Wednesday...*

tears began to flood my face as i think of all the memories of us; how can this be; i didn't plan on falling in love with you; it juss happened..was it meant to be or was it juss a big mistake; & ohh darling i know you didn't plan on falling in love with me but you did & you fell hard; we were crazy about each other and so in love ..we grew in love & matured from each other..you always knew how to bring a smile to my face & i always knew how to bring a smile to yours & still i can't take my eyes off you & maybe we'll be friends, maybe we'll be together in the end...maybe we'll never speak but i want you to know, i am forever changed by you & you'll always be in my heart; no matter how mad we are at each other or how bad it gets; i'll always love you & think of all the memories we shared when we were in love how you loved to tickle me & tackle me in the snow & how softly you touched me while you kissed me; your my first love & thats never going to change & i'm your first love; you can't deny that & how your making up lies is lame but go ahead hate me & say whatever you want..i'll still love you..but i was good to you
even tho i do still love you ; i'm so lettin' go

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 04:38:36 GMT

This is a poem that Molly Shortt wrote.. & i hope she doesn't mind if i post it on my lj..

And it's been twenty days since then
don't act like you don't know
I know you've counted too.
You've listened to the song a billion times
the one that was just like us
don't deny you've cried at all the lines.
The way you try to make me jealous is lame
the way I try to make you jealous is the same.
Go ahead and say you hate me
the feeling is mutual
If you say it to my face, I'll say it back to make it equal.
Rip up the pictures that cover 50% of your wall
burn the scrapbook, break the cd
destroy it all.
I bet you already have, I know you too well
I know your past and I can predict your future
I know all the lies you tell.
I know where I'm going, it'll be great
I know where your going, it doesn't involve me
If you decide to worry one day, don't
I'll be fine, you'll see.
Well never be the same but that's ok
maybe you'll be my friend one day
or maybe we'll never speak again
And it's been twenty days since then.

LiSTEN T0 Y0UR HEART*

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 00:41:04 GMT

Well..me & tiff'ny are goin' to the lake for the Fourth, which will be fun, hehe..but i'm goin' to miss my nicholas darlin' very much so*

YESTERDAY- Well Nicholas called at 1:30, cause he's lazy & slept forever..then i got ready & picked up tiff'ny & we went out wise, first we went to k*mart & looked around in there a bit, then McDonalds & seen all of our pound people...umm then to the college, but molly & syd weren't there, but we went to see everyone else, but juss stevie talked to us, so we were like fuck this shit & we went ridin' around..then went back to the college & seen ANGELA, who i have missed dearly, i've been worried about her..it was great to see her & talk to her....then me & tiff left there & went to Arby's & seen Stephen, but we thought we would get him in trouble so we juss waved & later he told us he was so upset that we didn't talk to him, but we juss didn't want to get him in trouble cause this woman kept lookin' at us really strange...* then we came home & i had to take her to her house then she spent the nite with me & we had fun,lol*

T0DAY- Umm, talked to Nicholas & me & tiff'ny went to his mamaws house & swam, lol it was so fun ... he kept throwin' me in the water, lol..but it was sweet* & then we went back to his house & talked to nathaniel & stuff for a while & my mother called at a very bad time, lol...Nathaniel keeps callin' me & nicholas sinners, lol.. actually he calls us mother fuckin' sinner, lol* he cracks me up & nicholas & nathaniel kept puttin' off fireworks they have like
324654134631+ fireworks, its crazy* then i left nicholas's at 4 & came home & tiff got on here & some of my family came & talked to them & my cousin adopted this baby, aww he's so pretty ..he's so fat & his name is Nate, aww..lol...i could have juss taken him ..he was soo adorable* then i took tiff home & went down sissy's ..now i feel like takin' a nap..shew

i won't be updatin' for about 5 days, cause we'll be at the lake..*please leave me many comments *

00h Hell, how the eff did i forget this, i ran a redlight is wise, lol..i was turnin' left & the light was red & i thought i could turn in nothing was comin' so i asked tiff'ny could i go if nothin' was comin' & i didn't give her time to answer me & i juss went & i RAN THE effin' REDLIGHT, lol..i felt so bad & tiff laughed for like 20 mins, lol*

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 03:10:36 GMT

Humm, let's see, Me & Nicholas are finally back together & i'm sooo happy..& i hope he is too...umm it's juss a long story, but i love him with all my heart...maybe we juss needed some time away?! ohh well...he makes me soo happy, i can't stop smiling around him...shew, he always knows how to make me laugh, hehe....* i love him -
well lets juss start with yesterday;
YESTERDAY-- umm i came home from sissy's at 12 then nicholas came up here & we went outside & played tag, lol..& he tackeld me, hehe* then we came in & juss layed around & watched t.v. & stuff...then at 2 we went to his house & stayed for about an hour & juss layed around & stuff [[ he tackeld me over the couch, lol]]and i played with Kaneisha[[their doggy]] & we juss made fun of Nathaniel, which is always fun * then i took him to work...aww, it was fun...he help me buy groceries, lol...then i came home & drove up tiff's for a while & we went to her aunt's house & put our feet in the pool, lol....then i came home at about 8 & then nicholas came up for a lidl while...then he called me when he got home & then we both went to sleep, lol

TODAY-I had to get up at 6:30 to go to the doctor with my sister...she had to get her blood taken then she had to drink some orange glucose stuff to see if her sugar is high & they took her blood every hour for 3 hours, yeah..we were there for a while...then she had a doctor's app. at 1 so we had an hour to eat..so we went to Hardee's [[ in big stone ]]then she seen the doctor & we went to wal*mart & then came home & i called nicholas & he came up here for about an hour...yep then i've juss been scannin' pics & talkin' to tiff on the phone & nathaniel on icq..lol...FUN *rolls eyes* j/p

-Sissy's baby's due October 7th
-I miss Tasha =/
-I'm worried about my brother
-me & tiff are goin' to the lake friday..*
-i'm gonna miss my nicholas love, hehe

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 22:45:14 GMT

Well-- i've had a very interestin' week --haha
umm well i'll juss start with wednesday

WEDNESDAY-- at frist i had drivin' school, which went pretty well...then me & tiff went out to the college to see Molly & Sydney [[ whom i miss very much ]] but syd went to play tennis so we really didn't get to talk to her that long & we watched M0lly swim then she got out & talked to us for a while & i seen Stephen there, but we really didn't talk that much & we talked to Stevie of course....then me & tiff left there & went to the Double Kwick & got delicious potato wedges & two slushies [[that we got a good deal on, b/c we wanted small slushies but they didn't have any small cups so the woman left us have meduim slushies for the price of a small one]] --lol* then we went out Jess's and layed in the tannin' bed & i took tiff home *

THURSDAY-- I went to drivin' school & I FiNALLY got my DRIVERS LICENSES ! Yay...lol....then i came home & i got to drive to foodland & talk to Nicholas[my love] then i come up sissy's...then i really juss don't remember, lol...thats pretty bad *

FRIDAY-- Umm, i woke up & called Nicholas & i drove to his house & we swam in his pool & i stayed about 2 hours then i drove him up to my house & we watched tv & stuff for a while then i had to take him home at 3 b/c he went to some concert, lol?-- i stayed for a lid'l while there & we kissed for bout 10 minutes [lol] and nate kept walkin' by sayin' [Good LORD]..lol...it was funny...then i came down sissy's & spent the nite cause mom & dad are at the lake

T0DAY--i talked to nicholas before he went to work & i layed out in the sun for a while & tiff called & i talked to her for a while & thats about it...& i might go down Foodland later & see my Nicholas love...

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 05:18:25 GMT

Well, today i went to driving school, which was pretty fun...i drove southside norton & through town of coeburn, i done very good...

then i went to work at hair depot, which was fun, but we were very busy today, & Diane braided my hair in a "rope braid" which is beautiful, i love it & tomorrow i'm gonna get "light red" highlight in my hair, ahh-- i can't wait, i hope it turns out pretty...

& me & tiff don't get to go to the lake this weekend which is Horrible--Ugh we wanted to go so bad, but i'm gonna spend the nite with tiff tomorrow nite cause she re-done her bedroom--i can't wait to see it
but i'm gonna go cause i have to get up at 7:30 to get ready for driving school

goodnite & sweetdreams
love you all

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 17:38:49 GMT

[Bold the ones that you apply]
I have kissed someone...
on the cheek.
on the lips.
on their hands or fingers.
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
related to me.
younger then me.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair. [little curls on the side =)]
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with red hair.
with straight hair.
smaller/shorter than me.
bigger/taller than me.
with a lip ring.
who was drunk/had been drinking.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual.
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water.
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band. [they're in a so called 'band' or so they think ;)]
who has a tattoo.
who is of a completely different race then me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std.
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival/fair.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.

I have...
cried
seen someone die
been to a party
given a shot
dreamed of a crush
been on a boat
been on a plane
attended a party where there was drugs/drinking
been kissed
had sex
kissed a friend
smoked pot
shot up any form of drug
considered sucide
considered murder [haha, okay not really]
been to a concert
been out of state
cried yourself to sleep
bought a drink for someone
asked a member of the opposite sex out
lied to a good friend
broken a promise
gotten so angry you beat up someone
fought with your best friend
cut your hair & then regreted it
poped your fingers
took a dance class
Been to a school dance
Had sex and then regreted it
Thought a movie star was hott
spent the night with a member of the same sex
spent the night with a member of the opposite sex

I like...
dancing
singing
crying
sneazing
running
walking
red
pink
green
brown
football
basketball
baseball
cross country
going to camp
staying away from home
being at home all the time
being around friends
being around family
baby sitting
talking on the phone
working out
school
parties
swimming
being single [[well, kinda]]
being in a relationship
being alone
listening to music [[ i am right now =) ]]
watching tv
winter
summer
spring
fall [[ hehe * i like 'em all ]]

I am...
short
tall
pretty
average [[ i guess ?! ]]
ugly
athletic
lazy
stupid
stubborn
funny
crazy
unpredictable
caring
loving
lovable
blonde
burnette
red headed
short tempered
wild
boring
spontanious
green eyed
brown eyed
blue eyed
over 20
over 12
under 10
sad
happy [[ juss kinda both ]]

Well me & tiffany went to the lake & i posted pictures we had soo much fun i can' wait till we go back friday * & we'll get more pics & post them on here, lol

Monday I went with sissy to the doctor & the baby's okay which is good, then tiff spent the nite with me & we stayed up till 2 putting pics on her photobucket, dang..it took forever*

Well lets see yesterday i went with Diane to work at hair depot(sp?) & i had so much fun, i'm going back tomorrow even tho i juss answer the phone & sweep & wash hair, i still think its fun juss to be out there...this girl [Misty] done my hair & i love it, she's really nice * then i went home & tried to lay in the tanning bed but i only got to lay for like 10 mins cause it came a huge storm & the power went out..DANGIT*

Today i went to driving school, haha--it was awesome, the instructor is really funny & nice, and the boy i drive with is nice to, his name is Fernando(sp?) & he works at Monterays(sp?) [[dang, i can't spell] i was a lidl nervous but after i starting driving i was okay =) i get my license's thursday.

--hummm, i can't say that i'm completly happy now, i mean when i think about somethings i get sad...cause my brother's having a really hard time right now..& his situation makes me sad & for his children ....it makes me cry...& some other things make me sad when i think about it, but i'm trying to keep busy & keep things off my mind, but i'm getting over it..*

& ohh yes, i almost forgot about it, untill miss amber brooke lane reminded me, me amber & tiff & tasha are planning on going to the bowling alley sometime after the fourth of july & we can't forget about it, lol*

love you all*

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:33:41 GMT

tiff & i in our "matching" bikinis

steven me & tiff on the golf cart

tiff & i being silly

me in my lovely hat

steven & the fish

me & tiff in our matching "buy one get one free" shirts

me & tiff

me & tiff again

tiffany

the lake at sunset *

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:34:19 GMT

Tomorrow Me & Tiff are going to the lake, Yay..... of course we'll have fun..."hot lake boys" hehe...we'll probably juss ride the jet-ski, swim, go to the mall & flea markets, haha....but we'll have fun*.....

umm, my weekend- well, i had a very boring weekend, lol..it was bad *

when the ub program start me & tiff are gonna go visit molly, syd, & angela....cause we don't get to go, cause we're lidl alcoholics..hehe..j/k

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 21:31:22 GMT

Humm, well things maybe gettin' better, for some real i feel relieved.....like all the pressure between "us" has went away...humm....

Well this week i spent the nite with Tiffany dear on Monday..we juss rode the four-wheeler & i bout fell off like 4 times, no joke, she's a wild lidl driver i tell ya....then we went inside and listen to music and finished the rest of our "make-up work" then marshall came down with his guitar & tuner ..he tuned my guitar & played it, lol..then he tackle'd me on tiff's bed & accidently busted his lip, it was bad, but i said i'm sorry, hehe* --ily marshall, lol....then me & tiff juss acted stupid, like always, haha -- & i got a bunch of bug bites on me

then wednesday i went & took my english exam i made a 73 on it -- Eek...then i came home & tiff came up & we layed in the tanning bed & nick & nate came up..and made us laugh, lol...Nate is sooo funny, hehe *....then me & tiff juss played my guitar & stuff....

Yesterday-- went to take exams, but i didn't have any so i juss made up time & i got some bad new, i cried for hours, but like i said now i feel relieved...its all good, i have to move on sometime.....i guess i better start now.....

today- me & amanda went to take our gym exam, we had to run for 20 minutes and we actually did it...we ran the whole 20 minutes...it suprised me, lol....then we juss made up time...

tomorrow-- i'll probably go to bass lessons with tiffany dear..

Sat, 21 May 2005 15:43:31 GMT

Well, i've really messed things up this time....
first of all, i've messed things up with us, all because i always have to have things my way, i know i do..i'm spoiled, but i really don't mean to always have things my way....i'm working on that, but i said many things that i regret and i hope that he said many things that he regrets, but what kills me is that he doesn't believe me, he thinks that i cheated on him the whole time we dated and anyone that knows me knows that isn't true, i didn't want to be around any other guy & i wasn't around any other guy, if i could go back 3 or 4 months ago, i would change things with us, i would have stopped being so controlling, but he let me have my way with many things so i guess i was juss used to it?! i dunno....but i still love him with all my heart, i know he's having a hard time right now and i'm really not making anything much better espically after what i done thursday (wanting things my way) but i do want to help him but he says that i don't understand and i can't help anything but i want to help at least i care ya know...i do care about him...so much...if i've put my heart and soul into anything in my life, its been him & i can honestly say that.....we both have other things to worry about, but i don't want to be without him..and i know he still has to care about me, i mean 8 months how can you just stop caring about someone...and another thing that kills me is i always say i hate when people are together for so long then something happens and their not even friends anymore, after all the memories they made and all the fun times they shared they can just say that they hate that person, i mean how is that possible....how can they just forget about all their memories and just hate each other...i honestly don't see how it's possible....and he says that we had a lieing relationship, i don't see how he gets that, cause i didn't lie to him...he's making it sound like i'm a whore and i done everything wrong with our relationship....when i loved him with all my heart, is he just trying to make up things to hate me, i honestly don't know....he confuses me so much, but i'll always love him and he's always gonna be my first love, there's no one else like him....he makes me happy sad mad all at the same time..i can't just forget about us and go our seperate ways, i just can't ....i need him but i know he doesn't want to worry about me...and after what happened thursday i don't know when we'll talk again....but i had to go and mess things up again, i honestly don't care if i get my way with things anymore, cause it doesn't matter anyway, & i haven't been getting my way with a lot lately...shew...i hate that it has to be this way...i've made it my decision to change, I, Brittany Nicole Taylor am going to change my bad ways, i'm going to become more independent, i don't need anyone, and i'm going to start caring for other things besides myself, i know i'm a selfish person, and i'm going to be a better friend and just fix my life cause i have to do something i can't juss leave it like this.....but he will always be in my heart no matter what happens, Yes i do worry about him and i still love and care for him with all my heart -- and nothing is going to change that...I'm just going to straighen everything up..cause i know i have to i can't let things go like this...But i have a lot of fixing to do..& i honestly don't know how i'm going to do this but i have to learn to be patient with things....and just let some things so..cause if it was meant to happen it will happen...I'm going to be happier...even if i have to pretend...i want him to be happy, and i want things to be better for him...
but i'm going to worry about my own problems....maybe we've both changed too much, too fast..
--but i want him to know that i'm sorry i messed up again and i know why we keep trying this, its because we do care and we do love each other a lot....& i guess i've juss messed up for the last time, i know you can't handle me and other things too, but at least we could forgive each other, but i'm not going to wait forever....i'm honestly not, but i'll always love you no matter what happens and we had many happy memories together and it was all fun while it lasted and i wouldn't take it all back for anything in the world, we were crazy and each other, and we made each other so happy...& everyone still says you two were just made for each other, and everything's going to work out, but i honestly don't know... i wish things would just work out....but honestly are the most stubborn person i've met, lol..but i love that about you....& i honestly think you want to be with me...but i'm always going to be here if you ever need someone....i love you with all my heart*

about yesterday--no more vodka for me at school & my punishment 3 days oss...i deserve it * and many people are upset at me for it. * but i guess it's just a part of growing up, doing things that you regret & things that you really don't think about before you go do them....i made a mistake...i hope i can be forgiven for it...me & tiff and the rest of us girls just made a mistake.*

-- & it hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time, i want whats yours & i want whats mine, i want you, but i'm not giving in this time *

Wed, 18 May 2005 02:50:00 GMT

101 things you should know about me--not in any order

1.My eyes are green/blue
2.I now have a very difficult time trusting people
3.I love when nicholas picks me up & goes in a circle & makes me dizzy
4.My favorite color is pink
5.I only trust very few people
6.I love being in love
7.Soon i'll have 5 nephew's & one neice
8.I'm not a good poet
9.I have a guitar but i don't know how to play it, at all
10.I've given my heart to someone
11.I hate that i've given some people reasons not to trust me
12.I had a wonderful winter
13.I have a really complicated life
14.I have wonderful/funny friends
15.I need a closer relationship with God
16.I have many regrets
17.I love "The Notebook"
18.I think blonde jokes are funny, even tho i'm a blonde
19.I have a silver '04 cavalier
20.I can legally drive May 28th
21.I love to be kissed in the rain & snow *
22.I love talking on the phone, but i'd rather talk face to face
23.I love cards *
24.I love long flowy skirts
25.I love carebears
26.I'm taking cosmetology nexy year, yay *
27.I'm afraid of spiders
28.I'm a big drama queen
29.I have to have things my way most the time
30.I'd rather talk about things than just leave them alone
31.I wear my emotions on my sleeve
32.I can be very emotional
33.Tiffany is my best friend, even tho we're complete opposites.
34.Sometimes i juss wanna be alone
36.I went to a Simple Plan concert in Cincinati
37.I've been to Cincinati twice
38.I've been sick a lot lately
39.I've have to deal with death a lot in my life
40.I love the saying "what won't kill me, will make me stronger"
41.I actually think Britney Spears will be a good mother
42.I don't like to be judged by other people
43.Sometimes i do judge people & i hate when i do that
44.I sometimes get on people's nerves easily
45.I can be shy
46.I have my own opinions
47.I love music
48.I love "love songs"
50.Nicholas makes me smile
51.I'm starting to be happier
52.I'm confused about who to trust
53.I often believe everything i hear
54.I don't to be in fights with people
55.I usually never finish what i start
56.I have fallen in love
57.I want to be a Cosmetologist
58.Sometimes i talk to much, when i shouldn't
59.I can be sweet, lol *
60.I have the nick-name "pinky"
61.I really like when people are just honest with me
62.I kinda don't want school to end
63.I've been sad a lot lately
64.I love going to the movies, its sweet
65.I like to skip
66.I often say "promise?"
67.I love when nicholas tickels me, lol
68.I want to re-paint my room "sea treasure"
69.I love "love stories"
70.I really wanna go to warped tour
71.I hate listening to the news
72.I have a fear of rejection
73.I'm a capricorn
74.I love to say "Say I'm Bird"
75.My favorite drink is, tea
76.I'm on the phone with Tiffany
77.I've hurt quite a few people
76.I don't want to be hurt again
77.I'm not good in Geometry
78.I have pretty handwriting
79.I love pictures
80.I miss Kanesha
81.Nate cracks me up
82.Last summer was bad
83.I have gotten a whole lot more mature over the winter
84.Tammy (tiff's mom) is my 2nd Mommy
85.I love taking back sunday & nirvana
86.I'm in love
87.I think i have stolen someones heart
88.I never know what to write in yearbooks
89.I love staying up late
90.I love shopping
91.I hate when people talk loudly
92.I actually hate icq
93.I love memories
94.I love when there is no "drama"
95.I love ribbons
96.I don't take criticism very well
97.I'm really not creative
98.I have a pretty promise ring
99.I'm afraid of the dark
100.I sometimes stutter
101.I'm not a good speller

Fri, 13 May 2005 13:59:16 GMT

Just when i think i have this all figured out and think i know what's on his mind, he goes and sweeps me off his feet again, it confusing, complicated, but i love the way it is...i just don't understand why it has to be like this, but i'm so in love with him, i hate fighting, maybe we just need time to work some of these complicated things out...no one knows whats gonna happen, but he knows how to make me happy, sad, mad all at the same time, there's just no other person like him, & yes i've tried to convince myself that this just isn't gonna work and that he's not the one for me,but i don't mean it, we keep going back to each other, that must mean something, we have all these things in our way, but i think we should just let it all go and see what happens, we have nothing else to loose, i just don't want my heartbroken again, & i can't say i've never hurt him because i have, hopefully we can put all these things behind us and just see what happens, i can honestly say i love him with all my heart & i know he loves me that much too, We confuse each other so much & i don't think either of us actually know whats going on, but i do like things like this, we just need time, time to just forget about some bad things that have happened and just let some things go..i'll always love him, he's my first love & i'm his....

Well, everything seems like it has fallen apart, things are just so conplicated, i really don't understand whats going on, but i feel a whole lot better now than how i've felt a month ago...i know i've given some people reasons not to trust me, but some people have given me reasons not to trust them, .... and these are people i thought i could trust, i guess you just find out who your true friends are, shew i honestly think i just need time like a break..ya know to just let some things go....ohh well i dunno...but i actually do feel better, which is good...*

Sun, 01 May 2005 23:02:53 GMT

Humm, i really don't know where to start, just thought i'd get a new eljay ..... i haven't updated in about 6 months, lol...yeah a lot has happen since then, lol....well first of all me and nick broke up for exactly 19 days because he needed time we were fighting too much and it upset both of us so we just needed some time away....

Friday - Me and Molly went to the bowling alley.....i'm glad we did, we got there at about 9 and the bowling alley was closing at 10:30 but we thought it was closing at 12..so my brother was gonna pick us up there at 12.....so i tried calling my house about a manillon+ times and no one answered the phone....well luckly cody, tj, nick, and nate were there...they took me and molly to taco bell to wait on my brother cause he finally picked up the phone at my house...so it took him about a hour to get there...so me and nicholas just started talking and we held hands and stuff, but i really didn't think he wanted to be dating me again, so my brother came and we went home..then about 12:30 nicholas calls,....that suprised me....he wanted me to sneak out of the house and see him, so i did....aww, it was sooo sweet...it was pouring the rain and lightening....and he grab my hand and started kissing me...i bout passed out, seriously...then i was like what changed your mind..and he said i'll tell ya later..so when i got back home i called him and he told me everything that he missed me and no other girl could ever compare to me and that everything reminded him of me and that he loves me...it was sweet...we talked on the phone till bout 4....

Saturday- Molly left at 5, then nick came up...aww, it was soo great for him to be here again..i love him so much..then me, mom, my pregnat sis, and my nephew josh went to wal*mart and taco bell, lol..then i came home and seen that nick called so i called him back...and we talked for a while.

Today- Nick came up for a while & we took a lidl walk....OMG ...God Bless him lidl heart he walked up here from his house..awww*...and we just talked & stuff & i gave him more pictures of me...he has like a manillion pics of me...then he left & i went out to lowes, lol....i found some colors i might want to paint my room..which i am going to do very soon, i hate it the way it is now...